You may have spotted some of the signs that your girlfriend uses cocaine – she may be hyperactive or very talkative at times, withdrawn or angry at other times. If she’s snorting powder cocaine, she will probably sniff frequently, and she may have nosebleeds. If she’s taking crack cocaine, you might have come across the paraphernalia she uses to smoke or inject the drug. She may be having problems with money or debt, as well as difficulties at work, due to her cocaine habit.
But how can you help a cocaine user or addict – including when they haven’t told you they’re using the drug? The way your girlfriend uses cocaine may be very secretive, going into the bathroom to snort cocaine or taking it on nights out with friends. How do you approach this situation? Should you confront her about cocaine?
In this blog, we’ll look at what you can do if your girlfriend uses cocaine. We’ll also explain how cocaine can affect relationships and what you can do to help yourself.
How to Help When Your Girlfriend Uses Cocaine
The first thing to understand is that you can’t control another person’s cocaine use, particularly if they’re addicted. If you know your girlfriend uses cocaine regularly, you may be frightened, angry or disappointed. You might have asked her to stop using cocaine. She may have promised you that she won’t use any more. If she’s addicted and she’s not getting any support, then this promise will be hard for her to keep. Partners of cocaine users often feel disillusioned or drained, when their girlfriend continues to use after repeated discussions or broken promises. If you understand that you cannot fix the situation by yourself, it can help to ease the pressure you feel.
Secondly, you didn’t cause your girlfriend to use cocaine or get addicted. Sometimes cocaine addicts will point to their relationships or circumstances in life as reasons why they use drugs. Fundamentally, addiction is a physical and psychological illness – so cocaine addicts crave the drug for the physical, mental and emotional experiences they have when they take it. In contrast, when they’re not using cocaine or withdrawing from it, life can feel painful, meaningless, boring, unsatisfying or challenging.
Thirdly, if your girlfriend uses cocaine, getting her to stop isn’t the primary challenge. To recover from addiction, your girlfriend needs to learn how to stay stopped. At the very least, she will need support from peers in cocaine recovery to achieve this. There are free support groups she can attend in most towns and cities – including Narcotics Anonymous, Cocaine Anonymous and SMART Recovery groups. Professional treatment and support is often the most effective catalyst to bring about long-lasting recovery. Cocaine counselling, detox and rehab programmes uncover and treat the reasons why people use cocaine – helping people to build a new life free from addiction.
Finally, if your girlfriend uses cocaine but she’s hiding it from you or lying about it, what should you do? Should you challenge her about cocaine? Alternatively, could it cause more problems or even put you at risk? Only you can be the judge of whether directly confronting your girlfriend about cocaine is a good idea. That said, if there’s a history of verbal or physical abuse in your relationship, it’s probably better to seek professional help. Addictions interventionists can help you to safely confront your girlfriend about cocaine, as well as talk through the options for addiction treatment – please speak to Addiction Helper to arrange a cocaine addiction intervention.
Cocaine Addiction and Relationships
Dating, living with or being married to a cocaine addict is often unpredictable. You may have great fun together but also have very heated arguments. One day, you’re getting on fine, but the next day your girlfriend doesn’t take your calls. She might get upset or annoyed with you at the drop of a hat, which affects your mood or makes you feel angry. You may feel manipulated at times, to give her money or change your plans.
For partners of cocaine addicts, the most important thing to do is get some support for yourself. If you concentrate first on dealing with how you feel, you’ll grow in your understanding of how you can most effectively help your girlfriend. Talk to close friends or family. Speak to other people who have experience of addiction within their family or relationship. Seek counselling with an addictions therapist or find a local support group for people affected by a loved one’s addiction.
It is also important to set healthy boundaries around your girlfriend’s cocaine use. For example, if you have children, you might say to your girlfriend that using cocaine in the house is unacceptable. She may or may not agree with you. She may or may not respect your wishes. If she oversteps this boundary, it’s then for you to decide if you want to continue with the relationship on the same terms.
Please call Addiction Helper today if your girlfriend uses cocaine, and she wants information about cocaine addiction treatment. It’s never too early or late in life to get help with cocaine. People in recovery from cocaine addiction go on to lead fulfilling, useful and full lives. Start the process of getting help today.
You can also read more on the Addiction Helper website about cocaine addiction and abuse.