As I sit here contemplating 2012 and the work I have done in the addiction field, the people I have helped and the people I did not get to in time or the family’s that where not prepared to take that bold step of doing an intervention to create a rock bottom for their delusional alcoholic or addicted family member. I have had many situations this year where we get a call into Addiction Helper and this has happened.
I am considering what a cunning baffling illness this is, I was an alcoholic and cocaine addict for most of my adult life and for the last 7 years I have been recovering from this dreadful disease of physical dependency, deceit, manipulation and self centeredness since 2007. My recovery from addiction and alcoholism started in my 5th alcohol and drug rehab in 2006 and has been at times very hard and painful but the gifts I have today are beyond my greatest ever dreams.
My road to recovery has been long and painful at times but even in the worst moments I have not had the extreme feelings and mental pain as I had when I was actively using. I have watched many clients and friends die this year and have battled my own demons as for me this illness I have never goes away, it sits on my shoulders waiting patently for a time and a place for my head to say “go on you can use safely now” or “who cares why not do it just one more time” One experience I have had is I gave up smoking cigarettes in 2009 and stayed off them for nearly 2 years but I went to a wedding and felt a little uncomfortable so I decided to have just one cigarette and today I am still trying to give up again.
I guess I am not perfect and need to work on so many things this year that I have turned a blind eye to in 2011 like smoking cigarettes, overworking and my on going sugar addiction. I have even considered going back into rehab to get some help with the addictions that I still have. To you the person reading this blog you might think what is he going on about but for me these other addictions can be as painful sometimes as the one that nearly killed me a few years back. I guess for the moment I will just continue to work on my program I learnt 7 years ago in rehab and keep re-evaluating my life one day at a time.
Kind Regards and Happy New Year